So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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