Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
