We're like a lot better than the average bears
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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