I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
