p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
