when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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