I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
