god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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