You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
