and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
