you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
