omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you will always have a special place in my vag
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
