he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
