the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
