it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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