Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
