The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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