Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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