He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
