Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
