when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
