he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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