Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
