Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize