9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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