Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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