loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's rum buckets o'clock
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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