Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
