it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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