since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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