I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
