YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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