God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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