Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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