Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

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(518): View more from New York

It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

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(813): View more from Florida

We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.

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(714): View more from California

He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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(831): View more from California

Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE

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(954): View more from Florida

oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?

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