I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
