babies were throwing up all over the place
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
