I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
