You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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