So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize