remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
