watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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