he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
