I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
