sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
