i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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