Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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