I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
