The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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