Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
