i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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