Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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