youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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