peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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