good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
