Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
