Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
