Fuck appropriateness.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
