U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope mine doesn't look like that
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
