that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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