she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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