If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
