drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
