I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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