I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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