that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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