I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
