i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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