that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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